Poster for a Musician "Too Good to Play Alaska"

NOTICE OF CONCERT CANCELLATION Charlie Cactus "The Bakersfield Nightingale" was forced to cancel three shows at the Alaska nightclub "The Brazen Husky" after suddenly realizing he was "Too good to spend the rest of his career playing cheap dives in places where the temperature regularly drops below 68 degrees." When contacted by the club's lawyer, Mr. Cactus pointed out that, "As the only country musician to be awarded a Prestigious Prize." (from the well-known Prestigious Institute) he was under no obligation to "Waste my talent on a bunch of chillbillys." Club management took the cancellation in stride, announcing that they had hired local band Whiskey Jacks instead. Contacted for comment, Whiskey Jacks spokesman Lefty Wright replied "Waste our talent on a bunch of chillbillys? Hell, that's what we DO!" leaving many to wonder just what he meant by that.