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Monday, November 4, 2013

Ernie Enraged

Where are they now? Child star Ernie, once a Sesame Street mainstay, is now one of the beloved show's most vehement critics. " Know what I'm making in salary and residuals, share of merchandise bearing my likeness, etc. etc? Count, what's the number?" "ZERO! Aah-ha-ha-ha!" "Sure I started out as a puppet made of felt and hot glue, but who can imagine Sesame Street without me and the other Muppets? After more than three decades I don't even have eyebrows fer cryin' out loud! Bob is driving a Maserati, Luis has a stable of racing ponies, Maria has houses on the Costa Del Sol, and the Upper West Side. Meanwhile Oscar is still living where? In a GARBAGE CAN! Cookie Monster needs bariatric surgery, who's gonna pay for that? One of these things is not like the other, and that ain't right! Sesame Street is brought to you today by the word "screwed" and the letters "S. O. and L !"

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