Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Poetry Cornered: On the Rapture

The prediction that the Rapture is coming May 21st seems to have gained a certain amount of momentum. The Rapture is the gathering to God of the faithful, who will be snatched through the air to the bosom of the Lord. I feel compelled here to point out that if you had to learn this from Frozen Grin, things are not looking good for you. On the bright side, as I write, you have a few dwindling hours to atone and set things right. How many hours depends, of course on whether the Rapture is on East Coast time or Alaska time.

Is this really going to happen? Don't be a Jackass. But if it did, what would it mean? That's a more interesting question...

"Heaven for climate, Hell for company"
-Mark Twain

The Lord has called home all his sheep

Too baa-aaad he knows you're just a creep

Look on with envy as to his maker

Goes that good ol' boy Jim Bakker.

Pat Robertson and Billy Graham

Are rising up to glory land

While you wallow in the dreck

It's harps and angels for Glenn Beck!

You were warned, but would not believe so

Say "Later, Dude" to Jerry Prevo.

As you're tormented by a demon

Overhead soars Loren Leman.

Be polite and quit your wailin'

Wave bye-bye to Sarah Palin

Rising upward all en mass

The flock ascends, they pass like gas

Add in the governor, Sean Parnell

And Father forgive me, I look forward to Hell.

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