Friday, November 28, 2008

Under the sign of the Bull: The correction I've been waiting to write

Despite what many say, the people who put out the newspaper really are concerned with finding the truth and printing it as accurately as possible. Not only is it the mission, it's the meal ticket. People won't buy a newspaper that is careless of the facts or out of touch with reality. Unless the paper is waaaaay out of touch with reality. Hence tabloids with scoops like: "Jen leaves Brad for Bat Boy"

Bat Boy aside, most journalists work hard to find the facts. And when they make a mistake, they try to correct the record. Which is painful. To write a correction is to brand oneself with a scarlet letter for being unfaithful to the mission to which all serious journalists pledge themselves. This above all: To thy reader be true.

Oh, except they are happy to publish unbridled superstitious nonsense regularly in the horoscopes. Journalists are proud of maxims like "If your mother says she loves you, check it out." But if some crackpot claims it's written in the stars, print it.

It's eerie. For all the millions of words of copy astrologers publish, I have not seen one correction. It's long past time to set the record straight.


It has come to our attention that yesterday's horoscope contained numerous errors. Unusual sun spot activity in combination with negative energy from the nation's 401k plans distorted the information written in the heavens and led to a series of inaccuracies we wish to correct. And yes, we should have predicted it, but let he who is without sin etc. etc... Let's get this over with.

Aries: You cannot achieve a goal that in the past seemed impossible. It is in fact, impossible. It was however an auspicious day for nursing a grudge and sulking.

Taurus: On more careful reading, the time was not ripe to demand that long overdue raise. What were we thinking?

Gemini: OK, so it wasn't a good day to discuss finances with your spouse. We're sorry she left. But face it, if you're taking financial advice from an astrology column, is it any surprise she split? The stars say you are a LOSER.

Cancer: The line reading "Today's grueling task will take all that you've got, but you are up to it." was fine up to the word "are" which should have been followed by the word "not".

Leo: The lion? Who is kidding whom here?

Virgo: Oops! We switched your prediction with Libra. Nobody is trying to kill you. Relax.

Libra: See Virgo, above... oh that's right, you can't. You're dead.

We were close on this one, a long-lost relative was going to leave you an unexpected windfall. Unfortunately he was cleaned out in a Nigerian email scam.

Sagittarius: Let's put it this way- We told you today was going to be an "8". We meant "-8".

Capricorn: Sorry, Capricorn, our lawyer has advised us to take the fifth here.

Aquarius: Hah! We got this one right! One out of twelve ain't bad.

Pices: Well, we admit this was bad advice, but really Pices, you should take some of the blame. Only an idiot would believe "Today is a good day to have unprotected sex with an in-law." We regret the error as much as you do.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Installment 2 of Uncommon Wisdom: Ralph Socrates

Short flicks, Big screens: Susitna Story, XT& ME at the Anchorage International Film Festival

The Anchorage Film Festival is generously offering multiple screenings of rare work by the reclusive director who goes only by the name Peter Dunlap-Shohl. Here's a rundown, and you can find the entire festival schedule as a pdf here

SUSITNA STORY is scheduled to appear Sunday, Dec. 12at the Museum as part of the "Adventures in Animation" Program, which begins at 5:30

SUSITNA STORY: Friday 12/12, 3p • Mixx Grill, Inlet Towers, 1200 L Street
$5 • Free with All Events Pass • Limited seating!

SUSITNA STORY and XT & ME: As part of the Snowdance Shorts program
12/13 Sat 12:45pm • Bear Tooth
And of course, numerous screenings on my iphone all over. Hoping to see you there!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Where's Pete?

I've been called away by a family emergency. Looks like it is stabilizing, and posts to Frozen Grin will return soon. Thanks,


Monday, November 17, 2008

New Frozen Grin Feature: Uncommon Wisdom

(Click image to enlarge)

The World is full of possibility and chance, the road not taken, the branch that doesn't break. The great and small appear and disappear with unpredictable stories and unexpected consequences. We fill in the gaps that they leave behind with our imagination, and render the picture as whole as we can. But our imagination can go another step, and create possibility that would otherwise not exist.

With that in mind, Frozen Grin presents "Uncommon Wisdom" a new series of glimpses of the lives and thought of interesting and provocative figures previously overlooked merely because they did not exist. Until now.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day

Click cartoon to enlarge