Sunday, May 23, 2010

Whennn Are We Gonna Get Therrrrrrrrrre?

It's a quiet and uneventful Sunday, the perfect time to debut a new Frozen Grin Feature: The Helldometer. (I'll pause for a minute so all you news-starved editors out there can remake your Monday front pages.) What is the Helldometer? Allow me to direct your attention to the right-hand column of this blog, where this sensitive and sophisticated instrument sits. For those of you who are too lazy to shift your eyes all that way, here is the essence of the idea:

Many Americans, from all points of the political spectrum, think things are going to Hell. Wall Street bailouts, massive oil spills, culture wars at home, actual wars abroad, shrillness in the media, and the acrimony that taints politics tend to confirm this view. But how close are we? Check the HELLDOMETER to find out!

Like the odometer in your car, the Helldometer measures miles, in this case the number of miles to Hell. As this is a purely gut-level idea of where we are, this number will be set by Frozen Grin readers who can vote for one of the distances in the poll below. 999 miles is the maximum distance possible, 1 mile means put on your fire suits and abandon ye all hope. This unscientific, yet darn interesting poll will be updated weekly. The Helldometer is presently blank pending the outcome of the first vote.

If you find a mere vote a disservice to your complex, multifaceted world view, please feel free to post your reasoning as a reply to this post. Don't miss your chance to take part in this historic first round of voting. The eyes of the World are upon us!

No comments:

Post a Comment