Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just Add Kraken

In these days of Avatar and Star Wars many of us grumpy malcontents long for intelligent stories with unforgettable dialog. OK, maybe not many. Some. A Few? OK, several of us at least. Well great news, craft fans! It's time to short-sell unobtanium futures, real writing is back! Where, you ask? "Clash of the Titans", which features the much quoted line "Release the kraken!"

Talk about natural writing with an ear for the way real people, or, in this case, immortal gods talk! Just try it yourself. "RELEASE the KRRRRRAKEN!" (For maximum effect roll that "r" for all you're worth.) This is the kind of searing, committed prose that stands with the best. This line will live with the great lines of all time and could spice up any movie. You doubt me? Try these famous scenes on for size:


What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in ape-ricot? What have they got that I ain't got?"

"Release the kraken!"


"Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here. You just have to see them again...You think I'm licked. You all think I'm licked. Well, I'm not licked. And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause, even if this room gets filled with lies like these; and the Taylors and all their armies come marching into this place. Somebody will listen to me."

"Release the kraken!"


None of you ever knew George Gipp. It was long before your time. But you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me: 'Rock,' he said, 'Sometime, when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper'"

"Release the kraken!"


"Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!...What the f--k happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? 'Ooh, we're afraid to go with you, Bluto, we might get in trouble.' Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer..."

"Release the kraken!"


To-morrow is Saint Crispin's'. Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars and say: 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.' Old men forget yet all shall be forgot but he'll remember with advantages what feats he did that day. Then shall our names familiar in their mouths as household words: Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester, be in their flowing cups freshly remembered. This story shall the good man teach his son. And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remember'd. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother, be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition. And gentlemen in England now a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon St. Crispin's Day."

"Release the kraken!"


"You talkin'to me? You talking to ME?"

"Release the kraken!"


"Bond, James. Bond"

"Release the kraken!"


"Life Is like a Box of Chocolates... You Never Know What You're Gonna Get!"

"The kraken just threw up."

Take heart, fans of the power of the word. Great writing is not dead in the popular movie mainstream. It's just in a persistent vegetative state.

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