Poster for a Band So Cool, They Don't Even Exist

NOTICE OF CONCERT CANCELLATION- Anchorage blues hero Feral Otis was forced to cancel a two-night gig back in his favorite hometown dive "The Brazen Husky". Authorities said Ima Hogg III, the drummer in his band, created a disturbance at the Los Angeles airport. Hogg was detained, forcing the cancellation. Mr. Hogg was reportedly upset about the fact that the crew was rumored to be serving bacon on the flight. Hogg heatedly denied the accusation, saying that he was upset because they would only be serving bacon in first class, while he was flying coach. Hogg began harassing fellow passengers, oinking loudly at the first class travelers as they began to board. The fracas soon escalated when the gate agent attempted to physically restrain Hogg. TSA agents quickly appeared on the scene, and, branding Hogg a criminal, spirited him away to an unknown location as he squealed for his lawyer. Mr. Otis had no comment.